This blog is about me. My Past. My Present. My Future.
This blog is about roadblocks and overcoming said roadblocks.
This blog is as much for me as it is for you.
I decided about a week ago (October 28th 2014) that I was going to completely turn around my life. My way of thinking. My attitude towards everything. My entire Life was going to change. This decision came after the worst year (and there have been a few rough ones) of my life…….
The Past Year:
A year ago today I was working pretty much full time at a decent job, I had just finished off the last credit to receive my high school diploma and my fiancé was three months pregnant with my second child. Life was good.
That all changed November 28th. We woke up (me, my wife and our 3 year old daughter) and all got ready to go to daycare and our jobs. My wife had mentioned that her stomach ached a little which to be honest was nothing new considering she had been having a tough pregnancy and when she was pregnant with our first she also had a rocky time physically. But this time was different.
I dropped my fiancé off at work, brought my daughter to daycare and proceeded to work myself. Within two hours of being at work I got the first call. My fiancé was spotting a bit and that she may need me to pick her up. Ok that’s common in pregnancies keep it together Aaron I said to myself. The second call was horrible my fiancé was crying saying it’s gone it’s gone come pick me up. I jumped in the car and sped to her work. When I got there she came rushing out holding a towel against herself. I jumped out and opened the door for her and then got in my side. She kept saying, “It’s gone it’s gone I’m sorry I’m so sorry”. All I could do was try to comfort her from the next seat over.
We got out at the hospital and they immediately brought her into the back. She was bleeding pretty profusely. I went to the back with her and they confirmed our fears. We had lost our baby. My wife had lost so much blood that they’d need to do a transfusion but first we needed to get the baby out. She literally had to have the baby. Then they had to do a D.N.C. after which the doctor came and told me that they would have to operate to stop the bleeding and to “prepare myself” for the worst. They did what they had to do and my fiancé came out of it ok all things considered. We spent the next twenty four hours in the hospital monitoring her and getting grief counselling. They explained to us that because Tess was so far along and the baby was developed that we had to arrange for the baby to be “taken care of”.
A week after we got out of the hospital we went to a funeral home to make arrangements. We decided on cremation and now our baby’s ashes are on our special display case where we can see her or him everyday.
(That was tough to write)
We had an uneventful next month and a half. Christmas was as good as it could be considering what had happened less than a month before. I mean we had to keep it together for our baby girl. We had no choice.
On January 27th (My little cousin Megan’s birthday) we got into a car accident. I was pulling up to a red light and I had just picked up my coffee to take a sip then BLAM…. Rear ended. I immediately jumped out the car and ran around to the other side of the car to check on my daughter who by that time started to freak out a little. As I was running to her the driver of the other car came running up talking about are you ok are you ok. I told him to get away from me while I check on my daughter. I picked her up and brought her to the other side of the car and sat in the back seat with her rocking her back and forth. I called Tess and I don’t know how this is even possible with the bus system here but she was at the accident like five minutes after it happened. Me and our daughter got checked out and were released.
The next day I woke up stiff as a board and went to our family doctor because of my shoulder (I had hit the window beside me pretty hard on impact) and she wrote me off from work for a month. I did my stretching and my rehab and returned to work.
In June came the bright light of the year…….. My graduation from high school. As I walked out onto the stage to receive my diploma I got the standard small applause so I decided to play it up. I looked out at the crowd, pretended to be displeased with their applause and raised the roof. Well that got them going a little bit. But I took it a step further and did the Hulk Hogan hand wave to ear move and the place went nuts. LoL
When I received my diploma the principal asked me who I stopped to give a kiss to on the way to the stage to which I replied my baby girl Violet. He called her down to the stage and she got her first ovation. It was a good night.
Two months later in mid-august I injured my back for good. And by for good I don’t really mean for good I mean it was all over for me. I couldn’t move for the first month. After that I went for testing and was told I had arthritis in my lower back and that my spine was curved. I was also told that because my job was physically demanding that she recommended that I not return to it. A job that I had just given five years of my life to. A job that may not have been perfect but would have taken care of me and my family for the rest of our lives. Gone.
We found out we were pregnant again in September. To be honest we were excited and scared. What we had gone through last year we did not want to go through again. The first month was the same as the others nausea, headaches and consistently being tired. The second month the same.
We were about ten weeks pregnant at Thanksgiving (The Canadian one) and I decided to tell my family. They were all so happy for us.
A week later on the Thursday after Thanksgiving my fiancé got some so really tough cramps and we went into speak to our obstetrician who immediately ordered an ultrasound to be done the following Monday. The weekend went by and on Monday we went in for our ultrasound. The technician told us they were two sacks. TWINS. But she also didn’t seem right. On Tuesday we called the obstetrician to find out the results and she said that she thought the babies were under developed and that we should come see her on the Thursday……. We never made it to see her.
Wednesday morning last week Tess woke me up and she was bleeding and we had to go to the hospital. We went. The same thing had happened that had happened less than a year earlier. Once again we had lost our babies. This time wasn’t as tough as the last time because well she wasn’t as far along and we kind of knew what to expect this time. But it was still hard on us.
(I’m not writing this for you to feel sorry for me I’m writing this so I can move on)
After all that last week I decided that was it. No more negativity. No more feeling sorry for myself/us. I’m going to completely turn my life around. I started reading The Secret about a month before the second miscarriage and that book has been helping me immensely.
I opened my email after being home for a day to see a message from Dr.Andrea Stevens asking if I could come in (see my first post for the rest of that story https://aaronstransformation.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/huge-announcement/ )……. That is the starting point of my journey from now on only good things await me and my family.
Thanks for reading and keep you head up kids cause after the darkest nights come the bright rays of sunrise.